flaskmatning - att gå emot normen

Flaskmatning – att gå emot normen

Allas situationer är olika och alla mammor förtjänar att känna sig som den bästa för sitt barn, oavsett amning eller inte.

Vare sig du ammar, pumpar eller flaskmatar så definierar det inte dig som mamma. Allas situationer är olika och alla mammor förtjänar att känna sig som den bästa för sitt barn, oavsett amning eller inte. Man kan tycka att amningens vara eller icke-vara borde vara befriat från omgivningens åsikter, och något för varje enskild mamma att bestämma. Så enkelt.

Men så är långt ifrån fallet. Istället visar det sig att matningen är bland det mest laddade av ämnen bland småbarnsföräldrar. Många som inte kan amma känner sig misslyckade, och många som valt att inte amma uppger att de mötts av skepsis och att de känt ett stort behov av att förklara och försvara sig. I båda fallen – om man valt att inte amma eller velat men inte kunnat amma – så uppges den uteblivna amningen ha skapat känslor av skam och skuld. Här nedan är några utdrag från intervjuer vi på Unna gjort med mammor kring ämnet, som vi tycker sätter ord på stigmat kring flaskmatning:

”Jag upplever att det finns en stark norm att man ska amma sitt spädbarn. Det hejas på och man möts av positiva reaktioner – vilket ju kan vara bra. Bara det inte sker på bekostnad av de som inte kan eller vill amma – att de då ses som sämre. Det är så tufft ändå att vara nybliven förälder, ingen mår bättre av att bli dömd”

”..sen finns det en annan dimension: jag har fullt ut känt min nöjd med att jag inte ammade. Jag gav det ett försök men kände ganska snabbt att jag inte ville. Det var helt enkelt för krävande för mig. Flaskan gjorde att vi kunde hjälpas åt två föräldrar från start och jag har aldrig sörjt eller ångrat något, som vissa verkar göra. Men. Att jag är och har varit nöjd med det här valet aktar jag mig för att säga högt. Det är som om det är lite fult. Som om det vore mer okej om jag hade kämpat och gråtit mig genom det första halvåret, desperat för att få till amningen, och sedan sörjt att det aldrig riktigt fungerade bra. Så skruvat.”

”I mitt kompisgäng fanns en stark oskriven regel att man skulle amma för att det var så naturligt och skapade sånt starkt band genom närheten som amningen innebar. Jag såg amning typ som kärnan i moderskapet och jag trodde nog till och med att jag skulle bli en sån som långtidsammade mitt barn. Det här var alltså innan jag fick barn. Varken min första graviditet eller förlossning blev som jag hade tänkt mig. De blev katastrof. När vår dotter Leia väl var ute efter akutsnitt behövde hon specialistvård och vi landade inte hemma förrän efter fjorton dagar. Min mjölkproduktion kom aldrig riktigt igång, och vid varje försök till stimulans fick jag ett ångestpåslag jag knappt kunde hantera. Flaskmatningen var det enda lyckade den här första tiden, och jag har fått omvärdera och acceptera. Jag känner mig ödmjuk inför att vad som helst kan hända och man kan inte styra så mycket när det kommer till det här.”

Vill man läsa en fin bok om att som nybliven förälder gå emot normer, däribland genom att välja bort amning, läs ”En förälders födelse” av Emilia Bergmark-Jiménez.

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